Ode to Pedophilia

We as a society are a bunch of pedophiles. Yes, chances are quite high that just about every one of you are in some way influenced by pedophilic tendencies. Granted, obviously we're not all a bunch of baby-touchers or child rapists, but the kicker comes in the fine print of the definition for "pedophilia". A bit of a bold claim, I know, but give me a few minutes to make my argument and the comment box is all yours.

What the Hell?
Alright, now that the shock statement's out of the way let's get into juicy stuff. First off, we'll examine the definition of pedophilia just so that we're all on the same page here. According to the International Classification of Diseases (IDC), pedophilia is a "disorder of adult personality and behavior in which there is a sexual preference for children of prepubertal or early pubertal age". Simply stated, pedophilia is a mental condition where one prefers the underdeveloped and physically immature for sexual activity. Well, I know I don't ever fantasize about little kids, and I'm sure none of you do either, but there is quite a bit more to this story than that. In fact, I am prepared to make the claim that on a less-than-conscious level the majority of you, and I am included, are plagued with pedophilic thought processes on a day-to-day basis and have just never realized it. Let's dissect these thoughts a bit more.

The Developing Human
Remember back in the day when you had to sit through the really awkward "Sex-Ed" class? I remember back in my times at Leo Bernabi elementary school the boys and girls were placed into separated classes to learn all this embarrassing information. I mean, for the average boy that age it was miserable enough to have to sit and study the anatomy of a penis on an overhead projector, let alone if they had the audacity to make us stare at a penis with girls in the room. How terrifying.

What do they talk about in those classes? Why, puberty of course, because that's what we were all starting to go through! What exactly is puberty though? The obvious answer is that puberty is the stage of development where each child's body begins to assume physical maturity; physical maturity being defined as the state at which reproductive processes are possible. Let's take a look at some of these changes:
  • In males the testicles begin to drop. The scrotum begins to loosen up and develop contractile motility. This facilitates the newly developed production of sperm by allowing the testes to remain the perfect distance away from the central body cavity (coelom). The distance between the testes and the pelvis itself is dependent on environmental circumstance, because sperm are quite picky about the temperature at which they can live. Thus on hot days, or in a hot shower, yo' shit hangs low.
  • In females the menstrual cycle begins to take place, albeit in a disorganized manner at first. This is due to the fact that it is pretty rare for all of the female reproductive organs to develop at the exact same rate, leading to uncomfortable levels of 'flow' for some while others might not experience an ovulation until late into their teenage years. Regularity develops over time, and will usually find a rhythm with the lunar cycle when left uninterrupted by chronic stressors.
  • In males the vocal chords experience a broadening and lengthening. From an evolutionary prospective this is a hand-me-down trait designed for the purposes of intimidation. This change also tends to happen in a bit of a sloppy manner; causing those infamous cracks and squeaks in the voices of developing young men.
  • In females the mammary glands are activated, igniting the chain reaction of events that leads to production of added breast tissue for the feeding of future offspring.
  • In both males and females the body begins the production of characteristic mammalian fur, or body hair. Hair is the trait that literally every mammal shares. No, we do not all give birth to live young; Monotremes lay eggs. No, we do not all develop within an internal placenta; Marsupials fully develop externally in a pouch. It is only in the Eutherian class of mammals that you find all of the mammals that one usually thinks of when the word in spoken. Hair is perhaps the only unifying physical trait that we all share, spare the obvious genetic similarities. Hair, primarily body hair, is entirely invaluable to all mammals. Hair helps the body to regulate internal temperature. Hair also serves as a static barrier between the organism and the electrostatic impulses of the world around it. In less-than-optimal hygienic circumstances hair served as a wicking adaptation to remove excess moisture generated in the hottest regions of the skin, namely the regions that experienced the most friction and movement like the armpits and groin; effectively eliminating the threat of pathogens developing in an otherwise moist and warm environment. In a nutshell, hair is perhaps the single most overlooked evolutionary trait mammals developed.
Now there are plenty of other significant changes taking place during this time, such as the noted changes in temperament and character of the individual as the brain becomes accustomed to all of the new hormonal changes within the body and whatnot, but for now let us leave the bullet-list at that.

The intermediate stage of metamorphosis is actually quite a standard checkpoint in the overall development of damn near every single organism out there. Essentially there is a larval stage followed by a significant series of physiologic changes, then there is the adult stage. There are very few exceptions to this general rule; to my knowledge there aren't any critters out there that are born with the immediate ability to procreate. This buffering stage in a creature's life allows for adaptation and the processes of natural selection prior to the spawning of future generations; thereby encouraging a more efficient and effective next generation of the species. After all, how effective of a parent would a child be? The infant or larval stage of a creature's life finds that creature almost completely helpless; some creatures being completely incapable of even feeding themselves let alone an offspring. It is for this reason that evolution has selected against such immediate turnarounds of reproduction, generally selecting for a larval stage that is roughly 1/7 to 1/9 of the organisms overall average lifespan prior to the metamorphosis process. Humanity has been pushing the limits of these proportions over the last few decades with the introduction of estrogenic compounds (chemicals that mimic the hormone Estrogen, namely unfermented soy and plastic) in the food supply that induce early onset puberty in many females and feminization in males. 

In mammals the metamorphosis process is as much an internal as it is an external phenomenon. We humans call it puberty, but literally every single other mammal goes through essentially the same thing. Where we humans tend to differ is in the the fact that we are aware of this overall process of infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, procreation and inevitably death. We are constantly reminded, it seems, of our own mortality; this introduces the pungent aroma of fear into the overall equation.

What turns you on?
No, I don't mean to ask about all the weird things you're in to. Speaking only of general appearance, what is it that gets you all riled up? What are the exact features that the human genome is designed to sexually prefer? Well, biologically speaking the answer is rather straight-forward: Health. We, just like every other critter wandering the earth, are designed to seek out vibrant health first and foremost because on a primal level our brains are wired to desire the best quality genetic material with which to procreate. This is darwinism at its finest, a fail-safe [kinda, but we'll get to that] program that works to ensure that the next generation of organism will proliferate. How does the human know to look for health? Simple: vibrant health is sexy. How so? Well according to Dr. Cate Shanahan (Deep Nutrition: Why Your Genes Need Traditional Food). . .

  • A physically beautiful or handsome face is defined by its level of dynamic symmetry. Humans, and most of the rest of the animal kingdom, subconsciously look for dynamic symmetry in our mating processes. Dynamic symmetry differs from the standard symmetry in that it is not a mirrored replication of an image over a set plane. Instead, dynamic symmetry is based upon a very specific ratio that occurs over and over again in nature. In terms of biomathematics this ratio is referred to as the Fibonacci Sequence (you might have heard of this ratio in The DaVinci Code). Also called the Golden Ratio or phi, the fibonacci sequence is nature's master program for proportionate growth. It is the standard in which every optic nerve, every tree branch, every cellular division, and everything else is held to. . . assuming the necessary chemical components are available to continue building according to the genetic blueprints. Essentially, facial structure is based upon the development of bones. When the proper substances are made available to the developing child the bone structure will grow according to the golden ratio; creating a universally recognized form of beauty due to our imbued recognition of the level of nutrients such a face has behind it. Did you have braces as a child? I sure did. Needing braces is the result of insufficient jawbone development; there wasn't enough of the needed chemical components available during our developmental stages to facilitate enough bone development to accommodate all of our teeth. The highest paid supermodels and actors out there generally have an extremely high level of dynamic symmetry; this is referred to as the Marquardt's Mask after the plastic surgeon who originally noticed the connection between the golden ratio and facial bone development in a time where there was no standard for facial reconstructive surgery.
  • The appearance of the skin is entirely dependent on the organisms level of nutrition. The skin is the last organ to receive nutrients, and is therefore an amazing tool for gauging the genetic potency of a potential mate. When a person has naturally radiant skin that is free of blemishes it sends out a subconscious signal to any onlookers that "my body is healthy and well maintained"; such is why we find ourselves gravitating towards such people in social situations. When the vital internal organs are not operating at full capacity, and required nutrients are not available for standard phi cellular reproduction, the skin is the first place to show it in most people. For example: No, your chronic acne is not the result of a "skin problem" and should not be exclusively treated with some stupid infomercial face wash. It is simply the manifestation of the true internal problem; most likely related to some kind of autoimmunity or hormonal imbalance.
  • A person's body odor has much more to do with sexual selection than most of the western world cares to acknowledge. Your particular smell has encoded within it a multitude of subconscious signals that those around you constantly perceive and subconsciously interpret. Your particular smell is as unique to behold as your bodily image is to see; no two people have identical pheromone signatures. Even identical twins contain different pheromonal signatures due to different epigenetic circumstances. These different scents are entirely derived from the level of nutrients available in the body. Pheromone production will all-but cease in the presence of lacking nutritional circumstances. When this happens there is nothing left within the person's scent-matrix but vaporized sweat and bacteria, and if this is indeed the case that sweat is likely filled will all sorts of rancid toxins that the body is attempting to rid itself of. What this means is that your deodorant is not actually needed, it is simply a convenient way for most people to cover up the rancid smell of their insides eliminating poison from the body. A much more efficient approach is to simply clean up what is placed inside the body and eliminate the root cause of foul odor altogether.
The topic of puberty can not be avoided in this section, either. One must remember that it is actually during the metamorphosis of puberty that all of these major changes in facial structure, skin, and scent are conducted. Simultaneously it is also during puberty that the individual begins to recognize such characteristics about other people of similar or older age.

What are you told turns you on?
I am going to describe to you what the western world currently considers a beautiful woman. There will be exceptions to my following statements, but please bear in mind that for the sake of argument I am simply pointing out the obvious stereotypes. An Americanized commercially "hot" girl is:
  • Young. Preferably as young as legally possible while still being able to promote her as a sexual icon. If she is not in fact young she will be made to look as young and 'girly' as possible through the careful application of cosmetics.
  • Relatively hairless. Her legs will be as smooth as a baby's ass, and her underarms will show no signs of hair growth. Her 'bikini line' region will also be a place of much work and maintenance, for if this region of the body is found to contain hair it shall be a damnable offense.
  • Small. She can't be too large in skeletal structure. Any form of fat accumulation beyond that of the standard hour-glass body shape is to be ostracized from the herd. Well, unless this excess fat happens to deposit itself in the girl's breasts or ass of course. In that case hey, it's just fine to have unhealthy levels of adipose tissue as long as your fat conforms to our standards of beauty.
  • Odorless. She will emit no natural scent whatsoever. Instead she will cover her own scent with (usually artificial and highly toxic) perfumes and lotions such that she smells like a walking rose pedal or something.
Hmmm. . . Young? Hairless? Small? Odorless? Call me crazy but it sounds to me like all the typical American wants to have sex with is a PRE-PUBESCENT CHILD.[Pedophilia is a mental condition where one prefers the underdeveloped and physically immature for sexual activity.]

Men are not immune to the this strange denial of our sexual metamorphosis into adulthood, I simply used the example of recognized female stereotypes because the rules and regulations governing female beauty are much, much more stringent. Men are still encouraged to remove pubic hair. Men are still sold deodorants and colognes that are designed to cover the inherent stench of their unhealthy lifestyles. Men are still told that the young appearance of a shaven face is to be preferred to the natural beard that most of their bodies yearn to grow, and if a man does not have the youthful appearance of abdominal muscles plainly visible they are motivated to go and 'fix' themselves.

Back to the shock statement.
My point is that as culture, society, and nation our general concepts about what is 'sexy' are actually entirely fueled by pedophilia. There is literally no other species of animal in the world that preferentially seeks out a mate for sexual activity that has not completed it's own version of the metamorphosis process. There is no other critter out there that takes pains to gnaw off its own body hair for the sake of courtship. There is no other critter out there that attempts to cover it's face with chemicals for the sake of looking youthful.

There is no other critter out there that goes out of its way to attempt to reproduce with another who does not have the appearance of being sexually mature.

No, mankind is indeed the first beast to walk the earth that is so afraid of its own sexuality that it will physically manipulate its own natural form in order to give off the image of being sexually immature. In essence: It appears that we are all quite terrified of looking like we are physiologically capable of making babies. I say "we" because I am every bit as guilty of this strange sexual phenomenon as anyone else. Hell, there was a point in my life where I waxed everything from "neck to neck" as I liked to call it [A word to the wise: you know those wax-at-home kits that you can buy from the drug store? You know, the ones that don't require actually heating the wax and resemble paper strips with wood-glue on them? Yea, those suck. Don't use those]

The real question now isn't whether or not we are influenced by the way of the pedophile - we most definitely are. It is now a question of why we are cumulatively afraid our own sexuality. This is purely my own conjecture here, but I would venture a guess that like many other major issues running around the world today it comes back to a matter of radical religious doctrine.

"Every time you think about sex, God kills an angel."
There're plenty of variations of this friendly little statement. Some of them are about masturbation. Some are about adultery, and sometimes it's a kitty that God kills cuz apparently all the angels got whacked for all the sexual thoughts of our fathers. Regardless, they are all religious terrorism when employed on the susceptible mind of a developing youth. Such things breed the fear of human sexuality. Within the context of extremist religious groups, sexual activity is deemed "unclean" and downright sinful. Essentially, if you find yourself subscribed to any religion that is in any way derived from traditional Roman Catholicism chances are you were raised with such a stance on human sexuality. Such institutions end up spreading this fear while masking it with words of love.

For example, observe the laws governing Adultery which state that all extramarital sexual activity is a damnable offense. The principle of monogamy that this law enforces is in itself actually a really cool thing, but the very concept of what most people identify as marriage was originally created by the catholic church as a method of cataloguing tithes and maintaining control of the people. As a joyously married man of four years I can testify to the brilliance of the advise to remain with and learn to continuously love a singular other, but that is not to say that such love may not ever appear outside the strict confines religious doctrine-driven marriage. Love, after all, can not be limited; this is one of the few true laws that I am aware of. The law governing adultery is not stated as advice. This law is stated in a "Obey This Shit Or Burn" format. So on one hand you have some helpful advise for cultivating happiness, and in the other you have a fear-mongering format that teaches children to be scared of the wrath of God for each and every sexual thought they ever have.

These things continue to breed fear and confusion to this very day.

Why confusion? Well let me ask you something: What happens when someone tells you NOT to do something? Well obviously you think about it, and chances are you'll even steal yourself to go and do whatever it was they said not to. People hate limitations, and will go to great lengths to see such shackles rid from their experience. The only true way to be obeyed in such circumstances is to introduce the element of fear to the equation. Offer a punishment, perhaps even a damnation, for any trespasses against your word. What do you call a society of people who are all biologically driven towards some level of sexual activity while simultaneously programmed from childhood to view the act of sexual maturity and union as dirty or otherwise wrong? Confused.

From what I can tell it is this overall confusion about the true and beautiful nature of sexuality that is at the root of all of our biologically odd sexual preferences. As a society we seem to desire to stay forever as children, and forever attempt to avoid the "loss of innocence" that comes from realizing sexual maturity, while simultaneously as individuals taking great twisted pleasure in partaking of an act that we "know" is wrong while nobody else can see[wrong feels so sexy, doesn't it?]. Even when the biological clock begins to dictate that our bodies are ready for procreation we still deny such changes by continually eliminating as many of their manifestations as possible. . . all while developing a gross level of pent-up sexual frustration that inevitably leads to even stranger sexual preferences and desires. There is now a multi-trillion dollar business that capitalizes on all of these new and strange sexual fantasies; it's name is Porn, and at this point just about all of it's 'actors' have baby-smooth genitalia and many of it's movies are based upon the concept of a young, innocent person becoming seduced by the prowess of another [being bad is just so hot].

Never seen a porn? No matter, your television shows still encourage this phenomenon through the employment of stereotypically 'hot' women and cleanly shaven men. Children's programs are still heavily influenced by these concepts as well; name me a Disney Princess that ever had to deal with removing underarm hair and shaving her legs prior to her WEDDING. . .you can't, there aren't any.  I maintain the stance that if human sexuality was left well enough alone rather than demonized as a dirty act before a deity that the entire industry of porn never would have grown to become the mammoth that it currently is, and that the overall tendency for western culture to cultivate pedophiles would have never occurred [a whole other article could be written about the rise of the pornography industry and the omnipotent control it has over the western economy and psyche, but I digress].

Let's wrap this shit up
So, are we all a bunch of child molesters? Nope, but we sure as hell don't mind groping up on a person who is technically of age that just looks like a child, do we? How many "Barely Legal" or "18 Y/O" porno sites are out there? Too many to count I'm sure, and there are thousands of men and women all on each and every one of those sites right now as I write this.

Many people proclaim that "Sex Sells". I say they are lying to themselves. Sex doesn't sell shit. It is entirely due to the fact that sex has been crafted into this odd living metaphor of a  'forbidden fruit' that people even give it any more than a considerate second thought. It is this forbidden fruit that is in fact doing all of the selling around here, not the sex. As an extra special compliment to this forbidden fruit we as a society have seen fit to complicate the situation even further by adding another element of forbidden-ness to this mess of confusion by emphasizing a desire for the fruit that looks as if it really ain't quite ripe yet.



  1. Were you raised in "Traditional Roman Catholicism"?

  2. I am getting annoyed with how this blog format forces anybody who doesn't have a google account to show up as anonymous; it would be a lot better to know who's commenting ya know. Anyway, to answer your question: No, I was not raised as a Roman Catholic. I was raised in a born-again Christian household and avidly attended a very nice non-denominational church. When I speak of Roman Catholicism in this article I am referring to the historical church that originated Christianity on a mass scale. I mean no offense to any particular belief systems of my readers; I'm just kinda callin it the way I see it. If you would like to know more about my stance on organized religion, please refer to my article here: http://www.themagicspider.net/2013/02/the-nature-of-god-and-validity-of.html?m=0